SELF SABOTAGE: MASTER OF DESTRUCTION

Have you ever asked yourself questions like “Why do I keep doing this?” or “How does this keep happening to me?” when you feel trapped in patterns that cause issues in your life and keep you from achieving your goals. It becomes worse when you try to make changes and disrupt these patterns but you end up in that particular place again and again. You may be stuck in a pattern of self-sabotage.

Sabotage is when you destroy and undermine something, usually in a covert manner. The term self-sabotage is used when you direct this destructive behavior at yourself. You may not even be consciously aware that you are doing it. But when this negative habit continues to undermine your efforts it causes a series of self-destruction. So why do we do it? There are many reasons why we undermine ourselves. Many of us don’t even know that we are doing it. Below are some reasons why we self-sabotage.

• Rejection Or Neglect : Rejection and neglect by a parent or an important figure in your life can cause low self-esteem and other negative self-image issues. This can cause an individual to sabotage relationships because they want to avoid another rejection and fear vulnerability.

• Trauma: If someone has been violated by another person, particularly someone that they trust, they may see the world as unsafe and view themselves as someone who doesn’t deserve good things in life. This can lead to self-sabotage.

• We Want To Be In Control: Humans feel better when they are in control. When we accept a negative outcome before the outcome even happens, we feel like we have control over the situation even if it is not what we want to happen.

But when we apply these thought patterns and self-sabotaging behavior, the only thing we are controlling is our own failure. Let’s take a look at what self-sabotage looks like. 

• Blaming others when things go wrong: Bad things can happen anytime even when no one is at fault. If you tend to point fingers at another person or situation anytime you face challenges, you may need to take a look at the part you played in what happened.

• Walking away when things don’t go smoothly: Moving on from situations that don’t serve your highest good is actually a good thing. However, it is usually wise to take two steps back and ask yourself first if you’re running from a situation without making an effort.

• Dating the wrong people: Self-sabotaging behavior usually appears in romantic relationships. Dating people who are obviously not right for you is a type of relationship self-sabotage. In fact, making friends with the wrong people is also a form of self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is usually a pattern we’ve followed for years, and it is hard to break free from. Becoming consciously aware of this negative behavioral pattern is the first step. Change cannot occur if one doesn’t first acknowledge that change needs to be implemented. If you’re having a hard time identifying ways in which you self-sabotage speak with a therapist or any expert in psychology or someone who is highly intuitive. They can help you identify these patterns so that you can steer away from self-sabotage.