ARE YOU UNTRUSTWORTHY

Is It True That You're Untrustworthy? - This is a question I frequently encounter while dealing with individuals, either directly or implicitly. It is the constant wondering if the other party believes we’re trustworthy or wondering if the other party can be trusted, or both. When you say someone is untrustworthy, you're implying that they're unreliable, undependable, and not deserving of another’s confidence in you.

The simple truth is that if you conduct business and form relationships with reliable individuals, you will be able to weather practically any storm. On the contrary, if you've had the misfortune of getting into bed with someone who isn't trustworthy, even a light breeze will start sinking your ship that is your relationship.

SIGNS OF UNTRUSTWORTHINESS 

It's been suggested that the only way to know if you can trust someone is to put your trust in their care. While this may be true, there are clear signs that untrustworthy people almost always display, which can help you limit the damage they wreak.

• THEY LIE TO THEMSELVES: One of the most obvious characteristics of untrustworthy people is that they have distorted perceptions of themselves. It's a solid sign that someone is attempting to construct a perception that adheres to their desires, distancing themselves from the actual impact of their actions and behaviours in reality.
  
  
• DOES NOT RESPECT BOUNDARIES: Boundaries are the bedrock of the relationship, ensuring that you're both comfortable as it develops. If you're in a relationship with someone who regularly tests your limits for their own amusement or as an immature way to test the strength of your loyalty, they're not someone you can trust
   
• THEY ARE INCONSISTENT: When one is always altering their behaviour in an attempt to impress you day in and day out, it is misleading, and they are not who they claim they are. If a person can’t be their most authentic self then they are definitely untrustworthy.
   
• THEY CAN’T MAKE A DECISION: If they are often unsure of why they are making certain decisions after you ask why they did something, it could indicate a lack of trust. Oftentimes a person's lack of decision making is an indication of lack of trust in themselves, and if they can’t trust themselves, then they certainly can’t be trusted. The most common response of an untrustworthy person is “I don’t know”. They either know but don’t want to share their reason behind their actions to you which is a sign of non-transparency, or they truly haven’t discovered themselves enough to understand their own actions. They will also have difficulty committing to a decision because they are easily influenced by external factors rather than relying on their own ethical system or intuition.
   
• THEY DON’T TRUST OTHERS: It's understandable why people who are untrustworthy find it difficult to trust others. A person who has no issue breaking their word cannot expect others to be trustworthy.

Robert Holden observed that "The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have." Hence, if one observes these signs within themselves, it is a call for personal development.