DISMANTLING NEGATIVE SELF JUDGMENT

If you've ever been the victim of your own self-judgments then you already know how painful it feels. This is a common thing, and according to clinical psychologist Michael Alcee, censoring or criticizing ourselves adds a new flow of emotions such as guilt, shame, and anxiety to our life experience. Many individuals are terrified of being evaluated badly by others, yet they fail to see when they are being assessed harshly by themselves. Negative self-judgment is emotionally destructive and has the potential to keep you from doing things you enjoy and going after the things you desire and often separates you from the people you care about.

With more wholesome thinking patterns in place, it's a lot easier to let go of resistance, tune in to your passions and inner resources, and go forward with self-confidence. Here are a few points to consider while working to dismantle unhealthy self-judgment.

• Make Peace With Your Emotions: Our emotions are to be felt, not dismissed, acknowledged, not ignored. Best said that Mark J. Reuter, “Our emotions are a part of who we are. Stop trying to judge, resist, or dismiss them, and instead become friends with them." - Mark J. Reuter YES! Even the ones we aren’t proud of. Emotions may often educate us about who we are and how to go forward in a positive way if we can only acknowledge and accept them.
  
  
• Be The Person You Wish You Had As A Friend: Most therapists say how effective it is when they ask their clients who are prone to self judge to consider what they would say to a friend who is going through similar emotions. We begin to recognize that kind words from ourselves have the same impact as they do when they come from others.
  
  
• Accept That Judgment Is Inescapable: There will be situations that do not go as planned as long as we exist in this world. When we try to accomplish things, our minds will try to paint those images as negative as possible, and we will be judgmental of ourselves possibly before we even get started. This way of being has been normalized for centuries, but when you accept that no one is without flaws, it becomes much simpler to accept that life is a constant progression. Thus, we can only strive for excellence, never perfection because perfection is non-existent. 

We don't need an internal opponent reminding us of all the things we’ve done wrong, or didn’t do right. We can eradicate and transform negative self judgment into positive constructive critiques that let us know what we need to work on from a non-belittling standpoint. Learning to root for ourselves is a valuable skill to acquire, and the first step to dismantling self-judgment. Be proud of your achievements, no matter how small. Eventually, those small achievements will amount to that massive achievement you’ve been working so hard for.