THE ABSENT FATHER

An absent father refers to the father of a child who does not provide for the needs of that child nor is he present enough in the child’s life to leave an impression or make a positive impact. Naturally, fathers have a statutory, constitutional right of parental authority but due to several underlying factors many fathers choose to remain absent from the life of their child/children. The absence of fathers has more significant tendencies to cause psychological barriers in the life of their children ranging from unhappiness and anxiety to resentment, disguise of fears and intimidation. It also contributes in hindering the growth of even formation of fruiticious bonds in the sense that children with absent fathers often have a fear of abandonment and base their decisions to move forward in these connections of deep intimacy retrospectively. 

There are several reasons for the absence of fathers from a child's life and here’s what they entail.

Psychological Immaturity 

The absence of the father is usually accustomed to divorce or separations. In divorce situations, the father may be entirely or partially away from the child's life depending on the father’s level of emotional and psychological maturity. Father’s who choose absenteeism often have issues accepting accountability for their actions and suffer from bouts of guilt if they blame themselves for the separation. Their absence is simply their way of avoidance thus they run from their responsibilities not only as a father but in other aspects of their lives as well. 

Lack of Education or Unemployment

The lack of proper education or a proper means to earn money often leads to the absence of a father from a child's life. Feelings of shame are often attached to these types of father’s. The father tends to feel ashamed due to his inability to adequately provide and chooses to run away instead of staying and not providing in hopes to avoid facing embarrassment and ridicule.

Feelings of Unworthiness 

Some fathers feel unworthy of being a parent. These are the kind that suffer from anxiety and depression for most of their lives and low self esteem. They doubt that they would ever be a great father to their child based on their circumstances that often include financial and/or mental instability. They prefer to run away rather than live in the shadow of themselves. They truly believe that their absence is the best outcome and that their child’s life will be better off without them in it. They feel they have nothing to offer and that their absence is indeed for the betterment of their child’s life.

The absence of a father has everything to do with the father themselves and their internal conflict. They may even try to blame the other parent for their absence but that’s just an additional outward reflection of their immaturity complex. It’s never the other parents fault or the child’s fault although we may often believe that it is by telling ourselves this repulsive falsified story. It’s important for absent fathers to overstand that their absence is conducive to stagnant growth and development, psychological instability, and even the sexuality of their child. Despite their circumstances I encourage fathers everywhere to be present because their presence matters.