WHAT IT TRULY MEANS WHEN SOMEONES SAYS THEY NEED DISTANCE

Needing distance or space in a relationship can imply relatively different meanings and isn’t always an implication of someone’s negative feelings towards you. While most people consider the need for distance as an ending it's actually the beginning of an incandescent new beginning. In relationships, whether romantic or platonic it’s customary to request space when needed. This helps an individual heal or evolve and align oneself to the needs and goals of the relationship in order for it to bloom or flourish.

The True Meaning Of Needing Distance In A Relationship

Distance is not always equivalent to “I hate you”, “I don’t like you”, “I don’t love you”. Distance often is equivalent to “ I love you, but I love me too and I have to do what’s best for my mental, and emotional health”, or in some cases it’s “I love you, but I need to spend some time alone to heal and evolve.” Sometimes who you are at the present is no longer in alignment with the people you once shared a connection with in the past. It doesn’t make the love or feelings you had for that person any less real. It’s simply a matter of a shift in perspective, a change in your belief systems and values which no longer match the person you once were, thus the people who once fit into that particular genre are no longer a match for your new story book and it’s okay to communicate that or for people to communicate that with us and not take it personal.

Although partners in relationships may consider needing space as doubting the connection you both have, contrarily, needing distance is more of a healthy emotional need. It creates a time of reflection, recharging, and reinvigoration. Sometimes individuals may want some time alone to reflect, spend time with friends or even try to realign and reset themselves to the true meaning of the relationship. Although some people might use it as a manipulative tool, distance creates a more profound relationship with deep reassurance. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person requiring space does not love you or want the relationship anymore. 

When Do We Need Space?

There are sure signs and symptoms one experiences before requiring space from their partners. In relationships, partners tend to feel familiarity and grating after much closeness, and hence it is essential to request a little distance. This distance helps avoid suffocation; suffocation weaves webs of constant lashing, quarrels, and impatience one experiences towards their partner.

What To Do When Asking For Space

To elicit your partner's suitable form of response when asking for space you should clearly state the reason for needing some time and at the same time reassure them of your love and concern for them and how much you valued the relationship. Emphasize your intentions for the request and if you desire to, indicate the length of time needed. Your time frame should be based on your own discretion and you shouldn’t base your decisions on how the other person may feel. Remember, respectfully, we all have to do what’s best for ourselves and not what’s best for others. You never want to be in a place of sparity, our self love cups must always remain full.