SELF-LOATHING

Self loathing is the act of having strong feelings of dislike for one's self. It is also known as self-hatred, a disgust for one's self or finding yourself detestable or short in every aspect of life. From constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough to predicting your failure all the time, self loathing never helps you to see the best of yourself in any situation, rather it causes you to see the worst in situations with you being the root cause.

There are various factors that influence or engineer self loathing in people. One of the leading causes is past trauma. People who have had traumatic experiences such as physical, sexual or emotional abuse in the past tend to be self loathing. In children, it isn't strange to try to find coping mechanisms for abuse especially if it's constant. If you are a self loather, you more than likely grasped that inner voice that told you as a child that you're suffering because you don’t deserve love or tells you that everything goes wrong because of your presence, and somehow you think it helps you to survive. It’s the insanity of this coping mechanism that destroys self-esteem and results in the embrace of self-hatred.

Chasing perfectionism is another cause of self loathing. The constant need to attain perfection or make everything perfect can be very demanding and failure to meet up with that demand can lead up to massive self loathing. The need to maintain a perfectionist mindset usually stems from the need to avoid failure at all costs, which is ironic because it’s that same perfectionism

mindset that acts as a fast track to underachievement leaving you labeled as “a jack of all trades, master of none”. 

Social pressure is another cause of self loathe. It’s normal to take note of the happenings around you, especially the success stories, and we often undergo subconscious bouts of comparisons between ourselves and others’ who have achieved great feats which can create feelings of underachievement. The pressure to match up or level up can be overwhelming and it can lead to self hatred especially if things don't work out as you planned.

Self loathing can negatively impact many aspects of your life, including your relationships with people since low self esteem usually goes hand in hand with self hatred. It also increases the chances of you failing to start or finish projects, or make important decisions because you fear failure or you're just not confident in your ability to succeed. You are without a doubt better than what you think you are, and we believe that you can achieve and acquire anything your heart desires, we just need you to believe it too, for the betterment of you. 

People who self loathe tend to struggle to maintain relationships. It’s a constant battle within themselves in which they have to constantly reassure themselves that they are worthy of being loved unconditionally because they’ve spent so much time placing conditions on the love they have for themselves. You will love people better when you love yourself first. 

Overcoming self loathing requires you admitting and understanding that you hate yourself. The next step is to work towards self-love. Go easy on yourself. It is important to forgive yourself more and understand that you are human. If you have had a traumatic past, it is important that you use discernment to determine the best methods of healing to utilize in order to get help navigating yourself back to self-love.