THE PATHWAY TO SELF-FORGIVENESS

Ever done something wrong to a friend or family member or most commonly, to yourself, and immediately regretted doing it? The act of self betrayal is one known by far too many, and it consists of you behaving in a manner that isn’t true to yourself. When we behave in ways that aren’t in alignment with our soul self we tend to harbor feelings of guilt and disappointment and often pick up the habit of self loathing. We become overly self critical and judgmental of ourselves. You probably felt remorseful and wished you’d never acted out of character, but it’s too late and the trust you have for yourself as well as the trust you’ve gained from others has now been lost. The damage has already been done. You feel it’s your fault and you don’t know how to forgive yourself for allowing situations to transpire that belittle you and others, and diminishes your self worth. 

Forgiving yourself is not as easy as forgiving someone else because it requires you to recognize uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, and involves changing those negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones which can be very challenging. “It’s a lot easier to believe the bad things.” You may think if you don’t criticize yourself for your failures you wouldn’t cultivate discipline or a sense of responsibility for your actions. However, beating yourself up every day over the past will not change anything. Self forgiveness involves a change in the way you see yourself. Instead of feeling so much guilt, shame, or anger towards yourself, begin to feel compassion, empathy, love, and kindness.

It’s imperative that you forgive yourself because…

It Gives You Peace: When you forgive yourself you stop being a prisoner to your own resentments and a prisoner of your past. It gives you the freedom to embrace the present, to manifest an even better future because you are free from emotional baggage or burden.

It Helps You Be More Responsible: Forgiving yourself helps you recognize you are responsible for every action you take and the decisions you make going forward. It's a sign of maturity as facing your shadows is a demonstration of your ability to take accountability. It helps you realize some things can’t be unsaid or undone, making you more conscious of your actions and what directions you choose to take in the future.

It Allows You to Heal: The minute you decide to forgive yourself and let it all go helps your healing process. The memories will always be there, but rather than feeling guilt, or disappointment, or shame, you should show yourself compassion, and over-standing because everyone makes mistakes. 

Some approaches you can take towards self forgiveness include: 

Acknowledging The Guilt: Over-stand that your guilt did serve a purpose, not the one where you beat yourself up for eternity, but the one where you realize your mistake and accept it. Make a decision to acknowledge that it happened, but that’s not who you are anymore. 

Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t allow your negative thoughts to drown you in the pit of self hate or self loathing. Your mistakes are learning experiences so show yourself some compassion. Everybody makes mistakes, you don’t deserve to feel awful about the ones you made.

Ask for Forgiveness: If you hurt someone with your actions, make them know you have realized you were wrong and that you are genuinely sorry about it. They may not forgive you, but this helps your healing process by taking responsibility for your actions. You'll feel a sense of calm and relief once you’ve expressed your sincerest apologies. 

Start Afresh: Take whatever you have learned from your mistakes and apply it into building yourself into a new, more beautiful you. Remember that self forgiveness is a process, the negative thoughts or feelings may creep in sometimes, but don’t let it get to you, have a positive mindset that you are only human and it’s okay to make a mistake, forgive yourself and make things better by evolving into the best version of you. 

With these little approaches you will be able to take big leaps forward towards self forgiveness. You have to let go to make room for new experiences, be open to complete happiness, and indulge in emotional freedom. 

We aren’t here to be perfect. We’re here to learn, grow and evolve as spiritual beings and teach what we’ve learned to others seeking to better themselves, as we once did. Forgive yourself and others’ for what you’ve gone through. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s a test we must all undergo for our personal growth and soul evolution. Some will fail, and some will pass and break free, but the answer is simply— when you know better, you do better, and as a leader you pave the way.