THE GUILT TRIP

Guilt-tripping is a manipulative method of communication that can be intentional or unintentional. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, the other person may make you feel responsible and place you at the source of the problem. They express their dissatisfaction and leave it up to you to find a solution. 

Nobody wants to be labelled a "guilt tripper." Nonetheless, we more than likely have all used guilt to persuade people to do what we want and we've almost certainly all been on the receiving end of a guilt trip. A guilt trip occurs when guilt is used as a type of emotional manipulation to persuade someone to believe or act in a specific manner. 

HERE ARE SOME POINTERS TO SPOTTING A GUILT TRIP

Silent Treatment: The silent treatment is a method of inflicting pain without causing apparent bruises. 'Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realize the emotional or physical harm that is being done,' says Kipling Williams, a Professor of Psychology at Purdue University, and he’s absolutely right. 

Everything Is Your Fault: Because a guilt trip tends to relate their poor behaviour directly to your actions, you begin to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. People who are on the inflicting end of a guilt trip are rarely willing to accept responsibility for their acts. Instead, they will lay the accountability that they should be accepting squarely on your shoulders.

Manipulation: A manipulative parent may use guilt to get what they want as well. They may say things like if they died unexpectedly and you didn't do what they asked of you, you'll have to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.

Explicit Antagonism: Does this sound familiar? Making remarks implying that you have not put in as much effort as they have, bringing up mistakes you've committed in the past, reminding you of previous favours they have done for you, if so then you're definitely a victim of being guilt tripped. This may also include sarcastic words disguised as jokes but it’s really intended to make you feel terrible about yourself and what they’ve said you’ve done.

Display of Passive-Aggressive Behaviours: Though a passive-aggressive person is unhappy, they may regularly say that they are not angry or that they are OK – even when they are furious and not fine – as a way of displaying their disdain or dissatisfaction towards you.

Guilt is a feeling we get when we believe we have done something that would lead to rejection. So, if someone gives us a "guilt trip," they're pushing us away to reinforce the behaviour they want to see in us. Evaluate whether or not that particular relationship is worth salvaging or saving and remember that real growth takes time and cannot and should not be forced.