THE ROOT OF YOUR TRUST ISSUES AND HOW TO MEND THEM

Imagine loving someone with your entirety. He is the love of your life. And then you catch incriminating texts and phone calls on his phone. What happens? Do you begin to jump to conclusions or start formulating predicated assumptions? Do you worry easily about your partner cheating on you, or do you have a hard time believing what they tell you? 

These are signs that you may have trust issues. But you aren’t alone. A lot of people have felt this way at some stages in their lives. The act of placing confidence in someone or something else is trust. And oftentimes, we don’t trust or place confidence within ourselves so how could we possibly place it in someone else. 

Where Do Trust Issues Come From?

It can take years for trust between people to develop, and that trust can be destroyed in an instant. Individuals with trust issues usually have had significantly bad experiences in the past with other people they trusted. For example, some studies show that children whose parents are divorced and children from abusive homes, or have experienced any form of sexual trauma are more likely to have commitment, intimacy, and trust issues in their future relationships. Trust issues are born from the experiences we’ve had in the past and the ones we are currently having. Our childhood, especially our relationship with our parents, can play a very big role in how we handle our relationships today. 

We can also start having trust issues because we were betrayed or hurt in relationships as an adult, including relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners. Previous infidelity is a common cause of trust issues. Once you’ve had your trust broken once it’s pretty hard to trust again because we often take our past experiences with us into the future. Although this is something we shouldn’t do, it's commonly done. Social rejection in our teenage years may also shape our ability to trust. Teens who were bullied or treated as outcasts by peers can have difficulty with trust in their relationships. Being betrayed or belittled by other people can affect our self-esteem, and self-esteem plays a significant role in our capacity to trust. 

How Do You Mend Your Trust Issues?

If you have trust issues, you first need to acknowledge that this is something you will need to work on if you want healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Trust issues can negatively affect the good relationships in your life and you may end up losing great people. 

What Do You Do To Help Yourself ?

• Process Past Hurts: Know where your issues come from. Process the hurts and make peace with your past in order to heal from those past traumatic experiences. 
  
  
• Get Comfortable With Risk: Learn to get comfortable with taking risks. Know that everyone makes mistakes, and even though someone may let you down at some point while they're still trying to figure themselves out, it doesn’t mean that you can’t trust them. We are all here to experience life, and these experiences help us discover who we are as a person, and what we truly want out of life. 
  
  
• Know When To Get Help: Healing and coming to terms with your past is a very difficult journey to embark on, and is one that you don’t have to do alone. You will benefit from seeking professional help. You don’t have to do this alone, especially if you have tried to help yourself and you still suffer from these trust issues. If you are struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, loneliness, or depression, get help!

I’ve provided these resources for you because I want you to know that I resonate with your experiences and that we are in this together! You can do this! I believe in you, I support you, I am with you!