KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND ATTACHMENT

What is LOVE? This question is forever a cliché yet a classic. That is how complex it has been to overstand the concept of love. Love is an unwavering feeling, not a choice. Love gives no reason and when it is pure it is felt and given unconditionally without expectation. A genuine connection between two people is a recognition of souls in the realm of the spiritual and when the love is true it is divinely woven by God itself.  Love is never fleeting and doesn’t deteriorate over time or through difficulties. 

People choose relationships, therefore healthy relationships are a choice as you work in the bounds of love to curate them. People can choose to give love, but to fall in love with another romantically cannot be chosen. We choose to operate in love and make choices that are in alignment with our hearts, intuition, and soul self to curate healthy relationships and inspire unity, harmony, and authenticity, but we do not choose who we fall in love with; for love is by God's design alone and can only be identified in another by soul recognition. At first sight, our hearts are initially touched by this desirable emotion. Those who have been blessed enough to encounter the true spirit of love have had the liberty of continually being moved by these affectations and afflictions that derive from it. 

The Difference Between Love And Attachment 

Love isn't something that we can run from when it's real it is eternally felt at the core of our being. The trials and tribulations that accompany relationships devoted to unconditional love are a choice people make to undergo and through those trials and tribulations, there is a burst of healing and extensive levels of massive transformation at the soul level that eventually reflects on the physical level as a perpetual evolution of two individuals. When the love is true it’ll truly be unconditional and unwavering no matter the time, space, or difficulties. But attachment? Attachment is what it is—attachment! When you attach yourself to someone or something, you are attempting to lean on another for a sense of comfort and support. Emotional attachments are how people attempt to fill a void that has existed for quite some time due to their lack of indulgence in self-love. Whether it be emotional, physical, or financial, attachment styles are merely a form of codependency and nothing fruiticious can be a by-product of it. Nothing euphoric or wonderous can be produced from situationships formed from attachment.

Attachment can evolve into love when two people identify that their conditioned egoic behavioral traits and belief systems are a hindrance in their ability to genuinely connect. Once relinquished they can identify as unique individuals, master the art of interdependence and collaborate as one. However, this love will be a kindred love; one that is comfortable, one that is healthy, but one that is passionless and dwells in the absence of romance. The emotional connectedness we feel with our one true love differs substantially and it's visible to everyone who dwells in heightened awareness. A lot of attachment occurs through trauma bonding, whether it is emotional or simply physical, the idea is to leverage the higher strength of one’s support system to gratify oneself. Unlike love, attachment is only a choice, in hopes of fabricating an imitation of the emotion.  With real love, the love is undeniably felt, which acts as the driving force of commitment. 

For instance, people particularly have a desire for fancy cars or materialistic possessions because it's perceived as a good validator of one’s social status. This is the same as attachment. Unlike the choice element in love where we choose healing, change, growth, and commitment for both ourselves and the one that we love, the choice element in attachment is more surface-level and is a choice to be with a person for what they can provide emotionally, physically, or financially and is an infatuation with the intrinsic inner qualities the person exudes.

Although attachment could grow to become love, one thing to remember about attachment is that the emotional connectedness, if any, lasts only for a short while. Hence the saying “There’s a thin line between love and hate.” Where there is love, there is room for more love to grow. Where there is an attachment, you’ll often find there is more conflict between you two and there is more reason to leave than to stay. The thought of leaving is overtaken by fear of loss of stability and a false sense of security. 

When you truly love someone there are more reasons to stay than leave and the thought of leaving isn’t followed by fear of loss; loss of stability and a false sense of security. Nor do you fear the loss of that person because you genuinely want the best for one another and care about each other so deeply that you desire nothing more than each other's happiness. You often won’t singly bear the brunch of the decisions about that love. If you are in a situationship that is characterized by attachment rather than love, the decision to let go resides with you and you alone. Be fearless and take the road less traveled to solidarity so that you can learn more about who you are and your purpose so that you can grow and evolve and align yourself with a love that was rightfully and divinely designed for you. Take the road less traveled toward wholeness and completeness. The road less traveled toward true love because we all know love doesn’t feel good when it’s forced.