THE INTERNALIZATION OF REJECTION

Generally, humans dwell on acceptance for survival, especially in social relationships. Thus, it is naturally emotionally painful when we are rejected. Rejection when wrongfully internalized can leave behind feelings of unworthiness, rage, and sadness. It can also induce a range of emotions that make it harder for those who have been rejected to move forth into self-love and empowerment as its internalization goes a long way to reduce our self-esteem by placing emphasis on our insecurities and affecting our thoughts towards future relationships. 

When we internalize rejection we begin to tell ourselves that something is wrong with us and that we weren’t good enough. But when we no longer need social approval and begin to validate ourselves rejection will no longer be negatively internalized but accepted as an intricate part of life. You see the truth is rejection has a beautiful way of protecting us from low-quality experiences and redirecting our focus toward self-improvement and ultimately to self-love. This redirection allows us to open ourselves up to a world of new positive experiences and exciting opportunities. 

People who have experienced rejection often develop impulsivities, most commonly sexual, as a means to boost their self-confidence. You see when people internalize rejection and those feelings of unworthiness begin to fester they often are self-judgmental and see themselves as severely lacking in multiple areas of their lives. Their focus is fixated on the problems that they think they have rather than on how they can discover and develop themselves so that they can recreate their self-image and redefine their self-worth. This misdirection of focus is what causes enhanced aggression and reduction in intellectual performance.  Hence, they often isolate themselves or habitually self-sabotage potential relationships with people in a bid to avoid further rejection and often indulge in acts of self-betrayal and denial.

However, every act of unwieldy refusal comes with a reason that leads to the betterment of our reality and the prosperity of our future. Rather than internalizing rejection, we should view rejection as a redirection to something greater and a reinforcement of self-focus. External rejection shouldn't be the spark that ignites feelings of shame and unworthiness and habitual acts of self-rejection. It should be the spark that ignites our passion and desire to be better and to embark on this exciting journey of transformation that induces feelings of exaltedness, rebirth, and renewal.   

Here are some steps that can help guide you to a place where you no longer internalize rejection but recognize rejection as a positive movement forward in the right direction toward self-awareness, self-love, and self-actualization. 

• Accept yourself. Self-acceptance assures that we aren't seeking validation externally but rather going within and validating ourselves. Through self-acceptance, we can strengthen our self-worth and move to higher levels of awareness and deeper expressions of self-love. 

• Express yourself.  Express your feelings openly, respectfully, and maturely. By expressing yourself to the person you feel rejected by you can genuinely overstand their reasoning behind it so that you can gain clarity and truth and use that experience as a learning tool. However, we must overstand that sometimes clarity isn't given and we have to be prepared to positively move forward without it. 

• Avoid self-blame.  Avoid self-blame by recognizing what rejection is not.  Rejection is no fault of our own and at times has everything to do with the other person's inability to confront their fears of vulnerability, intimacy, and feelings of unworthiness. At times it can also be a redirection from people who aren't in alignment with our soul frequency and purpose so that we can be guided into the lives of the people that are.  When you recognize what rejection is not you can avoid self-blame and save yourself from harboring feelings of shame. 

• Build healthy connections.  Building meaningful and mindful relationships with people whom we share genuine soul connections with is an important part of life. These are the experiences that will pivot us forward into journeys of self-discovery, growth, and happiness. Connect with people who are emotionally supportive because a strong emotional support system is essential.  Upon strengthening the bonds we have with ourselves we make space and time that allows us to also strengthen and nourish these connections. Engage in social interactions with the people you love and that genuinely love you and build fruitful relationships.

• Practice self-care.  Engaging in self-care is an act of self-love. Start becoming the lover that you so desperately seek. Begin to give yourself all of the quality time and attention, love affection, and appreciation you desire from another so that there’s no confusion or doubt about the love you have for yourself.  Self-nourishment is needed so that we can feel revitalized. It leaves us so full of love that there’s no room for those in our lives who don’t know how to give it or reciprocate it.   

Let’s normalize not internalizing rejection and use rejection as a learning curve to inspire positive change within ourselves and in doing so we inspire others to do the same. Let’s lead by example and look at rejection as a chance to get closer to ourselves and our goals by making it the motivational force that drives us deeper into our ambitions and leaves us dedicated to purpose and self-love.  Let us acknowledge that rejection is a redirection towards something far better than what we once perceived as lost.